Joy A Muchtar
Ding! Dong! The wedding bells chimed.
Around the world, people reacted differently after a wedding ceremony has been performed; from wiping away their tears, swooning over a fairytale ending, to breathing a sigh of relief that it was over. Then “bam!” in barely less than the time it takes for the wedding hype to die down, Kim Kardashian’s marriage with Kris Humphries ended abruptly after 72 days because of so-called “irreconcilable differences.”
But why do we even care anymore? Coming from the Kardashian family who are known for their scandals and staged reality shows, I expect nothing less.
Nowadays, marriage seems to be a joke among people, nothing more than a legal paper binding two people “till death do us part.” Or until the divorce papers are issued, of course. What happened to the days where marriage was sacred – when it was a lifelong commitment to the people we love?
I read on an online forum where one user commented on this issue: “Marriage/relationships worked in the “olden” days because men and women had more defined roles. The Man was to be the bread earner and the Woman was to be the housewife. Now it’s more open for interpretation as to who should do what. When that happens, you get into arguments which could eventually lead to divorce and such.”
As the bible says, the verse Malachi 2:12 sums it completely, “… the Lord hath been witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously: yet is she your companion, and the wife of your covenant.”
And Mark 10:9, “What therefore God has joined together, do not let man put asunder (to separate).”
Yet because of media, divorces are now no longer scandalous but are actually regarded as nothing out of the ordinary. Because it is not uncommon and can be easily done, more and more couples are likely to get divorced. These days, the time it takes to walk down the wedding aisle is longer than most celebrity’s marriages.
When people make a promise that they will love each other, and be there for one another through thick and thin, that is a solemn ceremony that our Father has given us as a gift, but now it has been made a mockery by people.
According to a report, United States has an alarming rate of 54.8 percent people divorced in the country, with Sweden being the most with 54.9 percent divorced citizens, and India with the least; a percentage of 1.1 percent. Based on a 2009 report released by BBC, it is said that the divorce rate in Indonesia has fluctuated over the past decade, jumping from an average of 20,000 a year to more than 200,000.
Some people suggested reasons why India has a lower divorce rate compared to other countries is because of arranged marriages. Arranged marriages are generally more stable than marriages by choice. One of the reasons include that arranged marriages are done by the parents – people who have more experience in the real world compared to their children. It is highly common for young people to decide whom they’re going to marry over a drunken night in Las Vegas.
Nasaruddin Umar, former Religious Affairs Ministry in Indonesia suggests otherwise, “Some couples decide to divorce because the husband and wife have different takes on political issues. This has never happened before.”
A lot of aspects can contribute to people putting a halt to their marriage. Religious difference is one of the vital aspects and the idea of putting up with domestic violence or husbands who cheat more than spend time with their wives.
In Matthew 19:9 (New Living Translation), Jesus says, “And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”
Bear in mind that these problems can be sorted out if both sides are willing to talk it out as divorce will ultimately affect the children and scramble their mindsets.
Marriage is something that must not be taken lightly. We can see it is not as easy as they make it out to be in movies where they fall in love and live happily ever after. But loving someone is to be willing to make it work and to sort your problems and that is what marriage is all about.
And I hope that instead of shoving marriage in the backseat of their lives, people will start putting it first and foremost in their priorities where it should be, and where it should forever stay.