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This coming Idul Fitri, 23-year-old Siti Fathiya plans to “sneak out” of her parent’s house and go to the mosque.

“I’m going to stay at a friend’s house the night before,” she said. “It’s far enough away from my house.”

The dance teacher converted to Islam earlier this week, despite being raised in a Christian family, and now prefers to be called by her Muslim name, Fathiya.

She’s hidden her new status from her family, who continue to use her baptismal name.

“I don’t want to hurt them, especially not my mother,” she says. “I won’t tell them [I’ve converted] until they find out for themselves and ask me about it.”

Fathiya was drawn to Islam even as a child, but she says her parents sought to crush her interest, fearing she would convert.

“When I was in primary school, I borrowed my cousin’s prayer set and went to the mosque with her to perform tarawih [Ramadan evening prayers],” she says. “Of course my parents didn’t like it.”

Over the years, her interest in Islam increased until, a few months ago, Fathiya started to have a vivid, reoccurring dream.

“In my dream, my Muslim friend and I were in a huge, grand mosque. We were reciting the Koran together,” she says. “As the dream came to me three times, I became certain that this was the right thing to do.”

Fathiya said she was enthusiastic about fulfilling Muslim duties, like praying five times a day and fasting during Ramadan, and found it difficult to stop when she was menstruating. Menstruating women are considered unclean in Islam and are therefore exempt from fasting and performing the five daily prayers.

“I just couldn’t wait to fast again,” she says. “It’s the same with the daily prayers. I can hardly wait to pray again.

“But I have to lock my bedroom when performing the five daily prayers. I respect [my family], so I have to keep out of their sight.”

Things are not so different for 28-year-old Florence (not her real name).

Having kept her conversion to Islam earlier this month a secret from her Christian family, she plans to act “just like everyone else” when she visits her family in Kalimantan during this holiday season.

“My family are devoutly Protestant,” she says. “I can’t tell them now, especially not my parents as they are both old and have heart problems. I’m worried it will worsen their health if I tell them.”

Florence understands why her parents might have reservations about her new religion.

“We are Chinese [Indonesians], and we used to be discriminated against a lot when I was a child,” she says.

“When my mother was walking past a mosque, some Muslim men who’d just finished their Friday prayers hurled stones at her because we were Chinese and non-Muslim.

“Sometimes we were beaten, too. This also happened when I was in primary school. [Other children] teased me a lot at school.”

But Florence says the behavior of the Muslims she’s met since has deeply impressed her and had a lot to do with her decision.

The secretary was particularly intrigued by the meaning behind the five daily prayers and the affect they had on her co-workers.

“[After praying] their faces looked fresh,” she says. “And I’d often stay at a friend’s house and noticed the same thing with her. I wondered how.”

Florence began watching television programs about Islam out of curiosity and, “without even realizing it,” she started to see the advantages of being a Muslim.

“I watched this Q and A show and I felt that all the answers the ustadzah [female cleric] gave really made sense,” she says.

“The more I watched the show, the more interested I became.”

When she told her Muslim boyfriend about her intention to convert, he asked her to think carefully before making a final decision.

“He just didn’t want me to regret it later down the track,” Florence says. “But I have a strong will and I hope that will never happen.”

Accompanied by her boyfriend and a couple of good friends, Florence proclaimed “ ashadu an la ilaha ilallah, wa ashadu anna muhammadan rasulullah ” (“I believe there is none but Allah and that Muhammad is the messenger of Allah”) at the Sunda Kelapa Grand Mosque in Menteng, Central Jakarta, and officially became Muslim.

Her plan while in Kalimantan for the Idul Fitri holiday is to visit her Muslim friends. “I have a lot of good friends there who are Muslim,” she says. “Yet I don’t want to tell them that I have become a Muslim too. I just don’t want my family, especially my parents, to hear about it from other people.

“I will wait for the right time to talk to them.”

Making the decision to convert was also difficult for Ano. Just a few weeks ago, the 30-year-old was circumcised and recited the verses to become Muslim.

“I still live with my family and they are all devout Protestants,” he says. “Both my parents are old. My father has heart problems and my mother has also been ill, so I really need to calculate the right time to tell them.”

Ano, whose Muslim name is Yusuf Zulfikar, says he first became interested in Islam when he started to regularly watch religious programs on TV six months ago.

His viewing intensified with the coming of Ramadan when TV stations flooded the airwaves with programs for Muslim viewers.

“I felt like it all made sense,” he says. “I could accept the reasons behind the rules [in Islamic teachings], like why you have to perform wudhu [ablution] and much more.”

To broaden his knowledge of Islam, Ano bought a lot of books and had many discussions with his Muslim co-workers and friends.

Noticing his strong will, one of his friends took him to the Sunda Kelapa mosque to convert.

“I am so glad I am a Muslim now,” he says. “I have been fasting and not found any problems observing it. I also enjoy doing the five daily prayers.”

Although he is still hiding his religion from his family, Ano plans to join the Idul Fitri prayer at the closest mosque to his house. “If they find out then it means the time [for them to know] has come,” he says. “I am not worried about that. I am very excited that Idul Fitri is approaching.”

Having converted to Islam, Ano says he has become more focused and is relieved to be able to put his trust in Allah to guide him through life.

“I have never felt like this before,” he says. “I’ve found peace.”

Receiving a Mother’s Blessing

A long time ago, when Catholic-born Aulia was still in primary school, he chose to stay in the classroom when his Muslim classmates had Islamic religious lessons.

“Unlike most [non-Muslim] kids, I just sat in class and followed the lesson,” he said. “I once even got the highest score in the class for writing Bismillahirrahmanirrahim (In the name of Allah, the most beneficent and the most merciful) in Arabic characters.”
In early January last year, the 29-year-old had a strange dream.

“I was wearing a Muslim long-sleeved shirt and was ready to perform shalat [prayer] after I washed myself,” he said. “Then someone stopped me and said, ‘You can’t just pray like this. You have to become a Muslim first.’ ”

Aulia began to wonder if there was any meaning behind the dream. He finally went to see an imam who said it could be Allah guiding him in his sleep.

“I longed to do the prayers, and loved watching people do it, and the sound of the azan [call to prayer] intrigued me,” he said.
He decided to talk about his feelings with his family.

“My siblings said, ‘If you think this is the right thing then live it,’ ” he said. “Except my mother, who seemed to object as I am the only son in the family.

Aulia managed to convince his mother that he had chosen Islam and that it was not because of anyone’s influence.

“She said, ‘All right, I can accept it if this is the path you want to take,’ ” he said. “I’m so happy that I told her before I converted. For me, a mother’s blessing is important.”

Witnessed by neighbors, Aulia finally converted to Islam on the second day of this year’s Ramadan.

“I feel that my life is different now. It is more focused and peaceful,” he said. “Especially after I finish praying, I feel like life has no burden.”