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Let’s be honest, Jakarta isn’t the most faithful city on the planet. If you live in Jakarta long enough, you begin to notice that relationships work a little differently here. Jono has been married for 14 years. He says he loves his wife, but he admits that he hasn’t been faithful for the past seven years of their marriage. According to Jono, the secret to staying youthful is with the latest cellphone, lots of shopping and unpaid installments on an apartment. Today, he tells us how the cheating game is played in the capital, why chemistry is important and how the trick to not getting caught is having the credit card bills sent to the office.

What do you do?

I am a business planner for a private bank.

How old are you?

42.

Why do you cheat on your wife?

I think it’s pretty normal for a man to cheat. Besides it’s Jakarta — everybody cheats [laughs]. But please note that I wasn’t naughty at first. I started going out to bars and karaoke after having been faithful for seven years. I guess after that started, one thing led to another.

So what happened in that seventh year?

My wife started to become super suspicious about everything I did. She was always suspicious of me. But I hadn’t been doing anything wrong.

At the time I was working really hard and I was at the office till late every night. She just started acting crazy. Like she called the security guard at my office building and asked him to check whether my car was there or not.

One time I brought home some bread from BreadTalk, and she asked me where I bought it and I said, ‘in Pondok Indah Mall.’ Then she started to question me about why I went so far for lunch? With who? Then you know, all the stupid questions that come with that. It was just so frustrating.

But is that any reason to cheat?

Well, I guess not. But I was just so tired of the arguments. One day, a friend took me out for karaoke and a massage. It was fun and I needed some kind of stress release. It all started from there. I met some girls and went out with them.

Are you one of those men who goes for the young girls?

Who doesn’t? [Laughs]

How old was the youngest girl you’ve ever cheated with?

She was 23.

What’s the arrangement you have with your girlfriend?

I take care of her financially — in return she gives me the care and attention I need.

So it’s not just about sex?

No. I can’t have sex with someone I don’t have feelings for. There needs to be some sort of chemistry.

How many times have you cheated on your wife?

So far I’ve had six ex-girlfriends.

Did you tell them all you were married?

Yes, of course. Look, I wear a wedding ring and I don’t try to hide the fact that I’m married.

How do the relationships with your girlfriends usually end?

Usually it’s because they start to be dishonest. They would lie about simple things and then it begins to bother me.

I’ve never really broken up with any of my ex-girlfriends. We just tend to grow apart after the feelings fade away.

How much do you spend on your girlfriend each month?

Usually I have to pay for her kost [boarding house]. That runs me about Rp 1.5 million to Rp 2 million [$160 to $220] per month. I also give her some money when she needs it, a new cellphone, take them out shopping, stuff like that. I’d say it costs me Rp 4 million to Rp 8 million a month. Not including the wining and dining. Not cheap huh?

Has a girl ever asked for a car?

I am not looking to spend that much [laughs]. My friend taught me a great trick to get the hottest girls. He usually offers the girl an apartment. That’s how he always gets the hottest girls.

He tells the girl to find the apartment and specifically tells her to list it under her name. Then he pays the minimum down payment for the apartment and after he’s bored, he dumps her. He gets to walk and she has to pay for the apartment herself.

If you spend millions on your girlfriend every month, how do you hide all that spending from your wife? Doesn’t she know how much your salary is?

Yes, of course she knows. But I don’t give all my paycheck to her. I give her a monthly allowance. I’m the one who is in charge of paying the bills, so she doesn’t really notice about some of the smaller unexplainable expenses every now and then.

What about the credit card bill? Does she ever check that?

I have all of the bills sent directly to my office.

Do you love your wife?

Of course.

Do you ever think that what you’re doing might hurt her?

That’s why she doesn’t know.

 

Jono was talking to Gizelle Shore.