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Imagine being laughed at for showing up at a job interview for a professional position. You are suitably qualified. But according to your interviewer, you don’t meet one important criteria: the applicant must be attractive. You are fat. And the interviewer has no qualms telling you this right to your face, while mocking you for bothering to show up at all.

Or imagine being bullied into resigning from your job in fashion retail because you politely refused your superior’s numerous dietary suggestions. Because of this, she has decided that you are lazy and makes malicious complaints to upper management, eventually pushing you out of your job.

These are just some of the stories of discrimination that plus-size women have shared online as part of Komunitas Xtra-L Indonesia, an e-mail list and Facebook group that has in excess of 950 members nationwide. According to Ita Sugito, one of the founders of the group, these are not isolated incidents, but part of a wider disdain for larger people in Indonesia.

A 2006 study by Yogyakarta’s Gadjah Mada University, in conjunction with other universities around Africa and Asia, found that 25 percent of Indonesian women and 10 percent of men were overweight and at risk of developing hypertension, a risk factor for cardiovascular disease. The World Health Organization, extrapolating from an earlier study, has estimated that by 2015, as many as 38 percent of Indonesian women and 13 percent of men over the age of 30 could be overweight.

The WHO classifies that as having a body mass index over 25. Body mass index is defined as weight in kilograms divided by the square of height in meters.

“We hear a lot of stories about women being discriminated against at work or in finding employment because there is a misperception that big women are lazy, stupid and don’t have any willpower,” Ita said. “But also, many stories about women being treated badly by men. What has come up on the mailing list is that some males have the idea that big women must not have any love in their lives so they are ‘easy,’ and they don’t treat them with respect.”

While these stories of mistreatment might paint a bleak picture, the women driving Komunitas Xtra-L are pushing to change these false perceptions, build a strong support network and show that size is no barrier to living a fulfilling and fun life.

The group, whose membership is predominantly female, is currently the only support network in Indonesia for larger sized people, and now has chapters in Jakarta, Surabaya, Yogyakarta, Bali, Semarang and Bandung.

While the conversation on the mailing list is in Bahasa Indonesia, it is open to people of all nationalities who identify themselves as being large.

There is no minimum weight for joining. At the April gathering, held at the Jakarta International Club, a function center in Central Jakarta, enthusiastic chatter could be heard from far down the corridor as about 50 attendees caught up on news and talked about everything from pre-election macet (traffic jams) to makeup. There was also a presentation about skin care and a workshop run by Bellydance Jakarta.

Yenni, a regular at the Jakarta meetings, said the face-to-face events provide a great way to interact with new people.

“In the group, you can share anything about your body, get information, find where to get big clothes and try to find a good diet program — even if we don’t follow it!” she said. “There is definitely discrimination. Maybe 75 percent of people discriminate against us and 25 percent are accepting. It makes it very difficult with work sometimes and also to socialize. That is why this group is so good for our confidence.”

Helping plus-size women find their inner strength was one of the goals that co-founders Ririe Bogor and Lulu Lustanti had in mind when starting Xtra-L.

The pair met in 2005 while competing on a television show called “Miss Impian” (“Miss Dream”), a talent competition for women weighing more than 90 kilograms, and went on to open a boutique for women who require clothing in larger sizes.

 As they spoke to customers about their self-esteem issues, an idea formed for a support group, Ririe said.

“Everyone who came to our boutique would always choose black dresses and say ‘it makes me look slim.’ But I would say, no matter what color your dress is, if you are wearing it well and look comfortable in it you will look good,” she said. “Then sometimes they would come and talk about their boyfriends cheating on them with slim women, or say that their husbands didn’t like them anymore because they had gotten fat, and would treat them badly.

“Hearing all this, I thought we should have a group for these women to make them feel confident and strong,” Ririe said.

From there, Ririe and Lulu sent text messages to friends asking if they knew anyone that would like to be involved. Ita came on board and set up the online mailing list in February 2007, and after some early publicity, the number of members started to grow.

Now the group’s projects have extended well beyond e-mails. Some members are currently working on a book, which Ita hopes will be published later this year, telling their stories of being successful big women in an effort to inspire confidence in others. In May, the community is also planning to hold a plus-size bridal and dress expo, the first of its kind in Indonesia, to try and address the difficulties in finding formal wear in larger sizes. The Jakarta chapter also recently started a walking club, which meets at Monas every Friday evening, to encourage fitness.

But supporting one another remains the primary focus for the community. As well as sending e-mails and interacting on the Facebook group, members meet in an online chatroom, which Ita says is a lifeline for many who don’t have anywhere else to get advice.

“People come to the chatroom with all sorts of problems,” Ita said. “One night, there was a woman who had an Internet boyfriend for two years. They had only met twice, and he was breaking it off because he had really just been playing with her the whole time.”

“She was so depressed she was thinking about suicide, but talking to everyone helped her get perspective. Who knows what might have happened if she didn’t have somewhere to go for help.”

Mia Badib, a Jakarta member who also authors the Big Asian Bellydancer Blog and is a contributor to the Xtra-L book, said that the group lets members know they are not alone.

“To go from living in Australia and being pretty standard-sized to moving here, with all these people looking at me and saying ‘why are you huge?’ — it was pretty hard as someone in their 20s. It really affects you,” Mia said.

Mia, who is part of Bellydance Jakarta’s performance troupe, said that feeling comfortable in her own skin is something that other people react positively to — a message she tries to pass on to other members of Xtra-L.

“So many of the girls in the group have grown up with really low self-esteem and have really been through a lot,” she said. “Their families are always asking them when they are going to lose weight, why they eat so much, when are they going to find a husband. Some have been victims of abuse when they were young. All this makes them lack confidence.”

“In Asia we have so many social issues, especially in Indonesia. I know there are a lot more important issues out there, but as a person trying to get through life, you just want to make it a bit easier. We just want people to know that it is OK to be a bit different and that big women can be strong and achieve a lot of things.”

Some critics who have posted to the group have alleged it encourages people to remain fat and live unhealthy lifestyles. But for Ita, this couldn’t be further from the truth.

“Encouraging members to get healthy is a big part of it. Being fat is OK, but you have to be healthy and eat well and exercise and look after yourself, and that’s what we tell people,” she said.

Members often discuss the positive health effects connected with a balanced diet and many are involved with the Monas walking group.

In Ririe’s opinion, an obsession with slimness causes more health problems. When people feel bad about their bodies, they might try suicide or take drugs to get slim. And then there is anorexia and bulimia, she said.

“It’s not helpful. It makes people feel bad, it hurts their confidence. Groups like the World Health Organization should do something more positive.”

“It’s about being happy and about self-acceptance. Once you have those, you can lose weight in a healthy way if you want and have a healthy mind.”

Consumer campaigns to put pressure on discriminative companies is something that Mia would like to see evolve from the group. “I think ultimately with any movement you want to have some sort of power,” she said. “Having a consumer movement is something that I think would be a great next step. I am sure that people would listen if we had enough support and maybe this could start to change the way women in general in Indonesia are treated by some businesses.”

As for Ririe, she has big dreams of spreading the Xtra-L concept throughout Asia.

“I would like to go international. I dream that some day there is going to be a Xtra-L group in Malaysia, in Thailand, all around Asia,” she said. “And why does it always have to be Miss Universe? I want to make something like Miss Big Asia so we can show everyone that we are not only beautiful, we are also smart and have lots of talent.”

Xtra-L Indonesia
To join or find out more information about Komunitas Xtra-L Indonesia and upcoming events, join the e-mail list at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Xtra-L_Community_Indonesia/ or search for Komunitas Xtra-L on www.facebook.com. To read Mia’s blog, The Big Asian Bellydancer, visit http://thebigasianbellydancer.blogspot.com/