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Whenever my friend SJ calls from Seoul, I’m all ears. When I lived in Hong Kong, his message was that when he arrived for a visit we were going to explore the Causeway Bay nightlife in a way I hadn’t experienced before. We did, and I hadn’t.

More recently, SJ invited me to attend the grand opening of his latest construction job in Singapore, a shiny little project called the Marina Bay Sands (love the rooftop infinity pool!).

But his latest call a few weeks ago hit me like a Chris John punch. “Dalton, my daughter is getting married soon, and I want to ask a big favor,” he said.

“Sure, my friend, anything.  Want me to help seat people?  Shall I provide the kopi luwak?  Dance with the single ladies?”

“No, I want you to be the singer at the wedding party,” he replied.

Gulp.  Pause.  Gather my thoughts.

“Uh … you know I’ll do anything for you.  But you sure about this?” I asked.

“Yes.  Of course I know many great singers in Korea and could easily hire them.  But I would like very much if you can sing two songs.  There won’t be any other singers,” he explained.

I can safely say that I’m not a shy guy.  I’ve asked presidents why they weren’t doing more to help their countries.  And I’ve used the “Are you a supermodel?” line at a nightclub more than once, and successfully.

But singing at a wedding is more than bluff and bravado.  It takes something that cannot be faked: Talent.

We’ve all been to receptions where Uncle Putra got up to sing with the band and murdered “My Way.”  Or when your third cousin Dewi thought she was Beyonce, but was far more beyond help.

I’ve had my own rock-and-roll band, and still enjoy karaoke.  I can carry a tune.  But without trying to sound overly modest, I know my limits.  And I know I’m not a wedding singer.

“You can do it,” said a friend trying to boost my deflated confidence.  “And anyway, it’s all about good song selection.”

OK, so “Ave Maria” is out.

“What about something in Hawaiian?  That way they won’t know what you’re singing,” suggested another friend, trying to be helpful. 
But failing.

“It’s not about the words.  It’s about the voice!”  I countered.

Knowing my friend SJ’s exquisite taste and first-class style, I definitely don’t want to stick out as the budget baritone. Yes, he’s heard me sing before, and I’m sure he thought hard about his request before calling me.

But if you know anything about the formal, status-conscious Korean society, you know that keeping your “face” is as important there as anywhere.  And I’ll eat three-month-old kimchi before I do anything that would make my friend lose his.

So, I’ve got a monumental task ahead of me in the next few weeks.  Pick the songs, then practice the hell out of them.  I’ve already received some well-meaning suggestions:

“We’ve Only Just Begun.” Are you kidding me?  No one should ever do the Carpenters classic except Karen Carpenter.  And she’s dead.

“Arirang.” The last time I sang Korea’s most famous folk song was when I was 5 years old.  And cute.  Nope, cultural suicide.

“Besame Mucho.” Spanish for “kiss me much.”  Popular with older folks, but maybe too risque.  And I don’t have Luis Miguel’s charm.

“Pergi Untuk Kembali.” I love this mellow Ello tune.  But a song about a guy saying he’s leaving but will be back later doesn’t quite fit the bill.

I’ll figure this all out soon enough, and will do my best for the bridal couple.  But I wish I had SJ’s confidence.  Before he hung up, he added this:

“Have a third song ready, please.  I’m sure they will ask for an encore.”

I can only wish.

Hawaii native Dalton Tanonaka is the anchor of Metro TV’s “Indonesia Now” program on Saturday mornings at 9 a.m., and host of “TalkIndonesia” on Sundays at 9 a.m. He also co-anchors “ASEAN Today,” a regional monthly program that airs in Indonesia on Sunday at 10:30 a.m. He can be reached at dalton@metrotvnews.com.