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Last week was the House of Representatives’ 65th birthday. No gift for them from me, though. Not a cake, not a party and not even a wish card. Why should I? They already got themselves a nice Rp 1.6 trillion ($177.6 million) gift — and with my money to boot!

Wrapped in thick-skinned bravado, the birthday boys got themselves a new lofty 36-story office tower with 120-square-meter offices and a cutting-edge architectural scheme.

The addition of facilities such as a swimming pool and a health spa has reportedly been axed from the plans by the project leaders, probably only because the public outcry reached a sustained howl.

When the House first announced the plan to build a lavish new building a few months ago, originally estimated at Rp 1.8 trillion, it ignited fury among public watchdogs and a group of conscientious lawmakers.

I, for one, can’t understand how an expensive building can improve the quality of our lawmaking, and how we can still waste that much money on a project that will not improve the quality of life for the country’s poor.

We, the people, elected the lawmakers. So when we say “no” to something, shouldn’t it mean no? Instead, our lawmakers have weathered the storm, kept the project on the hush-hush for a while and all of a sudden, the construction of Senayan’s version of the Tower of Babel is back on track.

I’m starting to believe that inauguration procedures for these lawmakers included a vaccination that makes them immune to criticism.

Let me help refresh your memory. We recently found out that the legislature was recently planning to allocate a budget of Rp 200 million per legislator to be spent on so-called aspiration lodges — offices in lawmaker’s constituencies where they can meet with constituents to discuss their, err ... aspirations.

The legislators’ monthly pay package already includes pocket money for intensive communication with their constituents. They could try and use the offices of their political parties.

If they still need to rent an office, why not peel some bills off their Rp 60 million salary bank roll?

Then there’s the fact that lawmakers still have yet to cure their chronic absenteeism during plenary sessions. Some lawmakers have argued that attendance shouldn’t be the ultimate measure of efficiency, as they perform many other important tasks.

Being present at sessions is not the be-all and end-all to making things work, I agree. And to be fair, I’ve attended some of these meetings and can understand how they can veer off course to snoozeville in a hurry.

At the same time, the lawmakers are on a payroll that’s we pay for and thus are tasked with performing everything in their job descriptions, even the boring bits like passing laws.

The criticism vaccine has, it seems, made their skins thicker than the earth’s crust. You can stomp on the ground until central Jakarta freezes over, but it will have no impact whatsoever on the earth’s core, or in this case, the lawmakers’ conscience.

These lawmakers have failed to execute their three main functions: budgeting, legislation and oversight of the government.

These crazy demands for a new building and for the aspiration homes show the legislators’ egomaniacal behavior, always putting their interests before the interests of the people. In terms of watching the government, their boisterous bark seems to be more politically charged than a fair exercise of the check-and-balance system.

We also need to highlight that the House has managed to pass only seven out of 70 proposed bills — the latter being the target number they themselves put forth last October. This fact has been reiterated so many times, it should be the House’s new slogan: “We’re the lawmakers, we only do 10 percent of our job!”

And we just can’t help but mention the fact that the legislature is a haven for the corrupt, as evidenced by the 26 lawmakers, former and sitting, recently named as suspects for receiving bribes over the appointment of a senior central bank executive in 2004.

All this mess, and the House still demands new homes and offices? Well that’s the jolly thing about birthdays.

When I was a kid, I loved birthdays because I knew I’d get a nicely wrapped gift from my parents, even when I had been bad all year long. The way these lawmakers act, you would think every day was their birthday.