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Shinta Lestari, Thalia Selena Kamarga and Ninit Yunita became best friends when they were each writing their own personal blogs. Whenever they met, the young mothers always gravitated toward discussions of motherhood, which eventually led the three to create an online forum where mothers could share tips, tricks and wisdom about parenting.

After creating a Twitter account in November 2009, they launched their Web site, theurbanmama.com, a month later. With the slogan, “There is always a different story in every parenting style,” the Web site was created as an “unbiased and democratic” place where mothers could discuss everything related to motherhood and parenting.

“We hoped the Web site could be the first choice for parents to find information on the Internet,” Shinta said.

To their surprise, the response to the Urban Mama has been tremendous. The site now has almost 13,000 registered members who actively engage in online discussions.

Members, most of them young mothers, discuss a variety of topics, including how to prepare for the hajj pilgrimage and leave a baby in loving hands at home, how to select the right formula milk for infants and experiences with breast-feeding and weaning.

The founders of the Web site agree that while it is now more common for women to combine motherhood and a career, the role of a mother remains the same.

“A modern mother has to give the best to her children and family,” said Thalia, who works from home for a design studio. “But I think it was also like that in the past.”

Ninit, who calls herself a homemaker and entrepreneur, says that modern mothers have to be adaptable to today’s fast-paced world. “A modern mother has to find the latest information that’s needed to raise her children,” she said.

And when it comes to finding that information, Shinta, who works as a banker, says mothers need sources like the Urban Mama, where they can reach out to other mothers.

Visitors to the site can post questions about products and services, while other users can join the discussion and offer anecdotes from their own experiences. The result is a source of informed opinion tailored to all parenting styles.

“Each mother has her own parenting style,” Shinta said. “I really believe that each child is unique, so each mother’s parenting style should also be different.”

As society moves away from the perception that mothers and wives should stay at home taking care of their children and husbands, the Urban Mama trio acknowledge that there is not a “one-size-fits-all” model for mothers.

Ninit, who has two boys, aged 2 and 5, dismissed the idea that modern mothers should be out there making a career, saying there’s nothing wrong with being a housewife. “Why not? You shouldn’t care about what other people say and think,” she said.

But Shinta said she needed a different role. “I believe the stay-at-home mom label can’t be applied to me, since I’m a mother who works,” she said. Shinta was quick to add that working didn’t mean she was neglecting her 3-year-old daughter.

“As a working mother I can’t cook for my family every day, but I have to know everything that’s going on in the kitchen,” she said. “And when I’m at the office, I still want to know what my daughter does every day and how she is developing.”

Shinta said that while being a mother was a 24-hour job, many working mothers today were able to fill their two roles without any trouble. “There are lots of women out there who can be good mothers and still be high achievers at work,” she said. “It’s not easy, but that’s the challenge faced by working mothers.”

Besides their online activities, the Urban Mama trio also organized workshops and book discussions and appear together on talk shows. Last weekend they organized an event called “Everything About Cloth Diapers,” teaching young mothers how to use environmentally sound, recyclable diapers.

The Urban Mama Web Site is about to celebrate its second anniversary and members plan to extend the online forum by adding more discussion themes, such as finance and domestic issues. Shinta said they wanted to make the Urban Mama a one-stop parenting source.

“We want to help urban parents get all the information they need to build their families,” she said.

The Urban Mama
www.theurbanmama.com
Twitter: @theurbanmama