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Every year on Feb. 14, the same old chocolate-and-roses routine takes place around the world. For many it is a highly anticipated day, an occasion for courting, romance or simply togetherness. For a few others, however, its sickly sweet romantic notion brings back bitter memories of heartbreak, letdowns and missed opportunities, though hindsight has perhaps given them a more jocular spin. Between the bad gifts and unfortunate dates, the day’s amorous intrigue is clearly not for everyone.

The Valentine’s Dump

“I was dumped on Valentine’s Day morning when I was in [junior] high school,” said Farid Arf, a 35-year-old computer engineer, with a hearty laugh. Now a far cry from the awkward teenager he once was, Farid reflected on the experience as being the moment when he saw Valentine’s Day as “nothing more than a commercial, gift-buying exercise.”

“I remember preparing for weeks, writing lame poems and trying to find a place to buy fresh roses – it was still rare, back then – and then having to book a table at a restaurant, which I had never done before, only to have her call and dump me on the phone,” he said.

To make matters worse, at the time, Farid’s daily routine involved the use of a public phone that was about a 10-minute walk from his house.

“We were kids, so I was embarrassed and worried that my parents and brothers would make fun of me or scold me if I used the phone at home every day with a girl.” Many teens of the era would sympathize.

On that fateful day, that 10-minute walk resulted in what felt to Farid like an hourlong monologue on why he was being dumped.

“I can’t even remember what it was. I think it had something to do with my not being attentive enough or something, which was [ironic] that morning, because I had prepared so much for the dinner that night. I even booked an ojek to take me to the mall where we usually met,” he said.

Deni Saputra knows the feeling. He too received the short end of the breakup stick as Valentine’s Day was approaching, though it seems karma played a role in the demise of his relationship.

The 27-year-old TV editor was in his late teens and experiencing his first few months of college when he met the “girl of my dreams, kind of.” Only problem was, the girl was taken.

Undeterred, Deni schemed his way into the girl’s heart by using his magic skills. “I wowed her with card tricks like David Blaine between classes,” he said.

Soon, the girl dumped her boyfriend (“Some nice nerd”) and fell into Deni’s arms (“My magic arms.”).

They went out for a few months, but Deni sensed it wasn’t working out when the girl began comparing him with her former nerdy flame whenever they had an argument. By the time their first Valentine’s was approaching, Deni was keen on proving to her that he was the best person she could ever date.

He had white roses sent to her house along with some Hallmark teddy bears about a week before Valentine’s Day.

“The plan was to send her flowers every day,” he said. But by the second day, Deni was strapped for cash, living only through his monthly allowance, which he had exhausted on magic supplies. The plan was abandoned, and by Day 4, he received a text message that read only “Call me.” Deni knew it was over.

Accusations of not caring enough and being aloof led Deni to the realization that he simply was not as “smart as her old boyfriend.”

“She was back with him, and so publicly around campus, within three days after our breakup,” he said.

The experience may have made Deni a better romancer (“Not sending expensive flowers every day when you don’t have the money.”). But he still relies on his old bag of tricks to woo the ladies. “Card tricks always work. Always,” he said.

The Valentine’s Economist

Valentania Iskandar, 29, always knew what the boys courting her would do each Valentine’s Day. Born on Feb. 14, she’s learned to feign surprise every time another potential lover thinks he’s hit on a novel idea by giving her a combined Valentine’s Day and birthday present and/or party.

“It’s not that I don’t appreciate it,” she said, “It’s just that it means every present is either pink, red and usually involves a doll and some flowers,” she said. “It makes me feel like an eternal teenager.”

As such, she considers herself a victim of the “Valentine’s Day economist. Because the economist always tries to cut back on spending, and what better way to make one present good for two separate occasions?” she said, laughing.

The Chaotic Valentine

Between all the rosy arrangements, traffic-avoidance planning, over-the-budget gifts and increasingly complicated whimsical escapades, something’s bound to go wrong.

Andreas Ismar, 34, remembers trying to rent a horse and carriage (usually rentable on weekends around Monas) to pick up his date a few years ago.

The plan wasn’t as out-there as it sounds. The carriage was only supposed to be used to transport his date from her house to a nearby location where he planned on parking his car. He wanted her to feel like a princess, following through with a romantic dinner that he had booked a private room for. He had even bought a shiny-looking necklace to give her at the end of the date.

Unfortunately, Andreas never had the opportunity to play out his Prince Charming fantasy.

Riding along in the rusty chariot, driven by an old man, Andreas was all tuxed up and confident. It was a short ride, only from his car to the date’s house a few meters away. Then things went awry.

“The horse urinated as we waited for my date to come out; right in front of her gate,” he said. “And as me and the driver were freaking out, [my date] came out. It was still funny then, and we were panicked but kind of laughing.”

But that didn’t last long. The horse let out a “huge fart” and then proceeded to defecate what seemed like “an endless flow of grossness.”

The girl’s father was not too pleased, and Andreas had to spend the next few hours trying to clean up the mess, seemingly in order to prove himself the people’s prince. By the time he was done, the restaurant was about to close.

“So we ate out at a nearby McDonald’s, and at the end of the date, I gave her the necklace,” he said. “We dated for a few years before breaking up.”

Addendum: Small Valentine’s Disasters

Haris Iskandar (not his real name), 43: “I remember [in my late 20s] taking a date to an expensive restaurant for Valentine’s, then realizing when the check came that I didn’t have enough money. So I pretended to go to the restroom but instead ran to a friend’s place nearby to borrow some money. My date must have thought I ate some bad food because I came back 20 minutes or so later, dripping with sweat and barely breathing.”

Hans Citra, 29: “I made romantic videos for her birthday; I sent her lots of gimmicky gifts, like a pillow with our faces. And just a few days later, she broke up with me to go out with a handsome pilot, who as it turns out was a childhood friend of mine.”

Engelin, 17: “A guy asked me to go to a Valentine’s Day party our [high] school friends are having this year. This was a few months ago, and because he is kind of the school hunk, I have been preparing myself since last week with manicures and a haircut. I even got my hair colored for him. To top it off, I bought [an expensive] ball gown after saving up for months. He called me a few days ago to say he had to cancel because it turns out, he’s getting engaged on that day.”