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There seems to be a common perception that women are generally high-maintenance. But what does that term even mean?

Personally, I’d describe a high-maintenance person as someone who is hard to handle.

Some Internet sources say that high-maintenance women want their men to be affectionate and attentive. They want to be the center of their man’s universe. They have high expectations and are hard to please.

Others insist that those women spend a lot of time polishing their nails, styling their hair and getting dressed, spend more money on make-up than groceries and like to compete with Imelda Marcos in collecting shoes.

In the end, it all comes down to this: High-maintenance women are needy, and when men have fulfilled their every request, they still need more, be it emotional or material.

Whichever is the more accurate definition, women like that are time-consuming and require a lot of effort, and men find them annoying. I find them annoying, too.

I actually don’t think there’s anything wrong with having high expectations or being well-groomed. Additionally, everyone has the right to demand occasional expressions of love from her partner. But, as is often the case in life, everything should be in moderation.

But here’s some advice, dear men: If you don’t like these kind of women, don’t date them. It’s as simple as that. If everything a woman does has the ulterior motive to put you to the test — how much does he really love me? — then she’s probably not worth your time. Quit “maintaining” her and look for someone else, because not all women on this planet treat men like an ATM.

More than that, high-maintenance is not necessarily a female trait anymore nowadays. I have heard of (and known some) men who are quite high-maintenance themselves: Self-absorbed prima donnas used to standing in the limelight.

So to the men, the next time you want to complain about high-maintenance women, take a quick look at yourself. Are you sure you aren’t manifesting a similar attitude?

Men maybe won’t buy tons of new shoes, clothes and bags, but they still might spend half of their paycheck on gadgets and car accessories. Now that, depending on the definition, can be quite high-maintenance, too.

Katrin Figge is deputy features editor at the Jakarta Globe.

When it comes to buying something, there’s one thing we all seem to agree on: “Price doesn’t lie.” No matter how good the fake product may look, we know that the genuine, expensive one will perform and hold up better.

Sometimes that’s also the case with relationships. It’s true that most men complain about so-called high maintenance women. We announce to others that we would never date someone like that.

“You should never date a high-maintenance girl because she will only ruin your life,” a good friend told me. But strangely, lots of men who say that usually end up dating such a woman. Why is this happening?

The reason is very simple.

While women have the tendency to appreciate the intangible things, like tenderness or romance, for men it’s the opposite. Men like to appreciate something they see and touch. So while a woman might say she doesn’t need to have a good-looking man as long as he’s nice, the average man says that he only wants to marry a beautiful woman.

Yes, a high-maintenance woman is not always beautiful. But in most cases, money seems to be able to buy anything, including beauty.

In today’s world, a high-maintenance woman spends hours at the beauty parlor at least once a week. A high-maintenance woman needs to keep herself look stunning.

A high-maintenance woman always reads the latest fashion magazines to keep herself updated on the latest trends, so the next time she goes to the mall, she knows what clothes, shoes or bags she wants to buy.

When she says that she doesn’t look great in the dress she’s trying on, even though you may think otherwise, there’s no need to argue. The best thing you can do is accompany her through the whole mall until she finally finds the dress she thinks is the right one, even if you think it is not so different from the previous one.

And as you already know, a high-maintenance woman likes to spend time going to the upscale shops to find overpriced brand name accessories. Some women will still buy cheap products at a discount store but will make sure the products are still good before making a decision.

Money ideally should not be a factor for a high-maintenance woman. But if it is, then there are only two options: Getting a better job or finding a richer man.

Tasa Nugraza Barley is a features reporter at the Jakarta Globe.